COUNTRY CONNECTION: Does 'Nashville Star' measure up?

With the summer season in full swing — and apparently in full sweat, if the last week or so is any indication — some of us are soaking up the sun, fishing and hiking and camping until we run out of drinkable water. Well, drinkable liquid, at least. Others might be hiding in the comfort of air-conditioned coolness, looking for something to take their minds off the breakfast of bacon and eggs frying on the sidewalk. (I tried this on Sunday afternoon; all I got was a very angry neighbor with very messy shoes.)

“Nashville Star” might just do the trick, but for all the wrong reasons.

I don’t know what’s wrong with NBC, but they seem to muck up even the most basic and awesome premises. They destroyed “The Bionic Woman,” turned “American Gladiators” into something strangely even more ridiculous than the original, and then they got their hands on “Nashville Star,” the show that USA Networks aired to little fanfare. The show has given us a bonafide superstar in Miranda Lambert, spitfire extraordinaire, and it gave us Buddy Jewell, who at least gave us a couple of decent singles before fading into general obscurity. As reality show/music contests go, that puts him at least on par with Bucky Covington, which is stranger still, since Jewell won the first competition.

Flash forward to now, as the aftershocks of the writers’ strike leaves us with Billy Ray “Father of the Year” Cyrus hosting a parade of moderately talented singers and performers while another Jewel, one with one less “L” and a snaggletooth, gets to decide whether people are country enough. That’s right, Jewel. John Rich gets that right, having fought tooth and nail for recognition of his music, his friends, his production and his hat. Jeffery Steele gets that right, having written plenty of genuine country hits and even performing one or two of his own. But Jewel? Really?

And then there’s the song choices, bringing us to believe that Thunder 104.5 really has taken over the universe. Look at that, everyone! Country singers performing songs by Colbie Callait, by Train, and three different people singing “Drift Away” by Dobie Gray. I don’t know how we did it, and why the sandwich truck isn’t backing up into my apartment, but apparently Everything Country & More is the ethos of “Nashville Star,” and the lack of kickbacks is both disappointing and confusing. Country music seems to be a bit more like the Netherlands every day, only without those special bars with the special brownies — come on in, everyone! It’s safe here!

If nothing else, it’s something we all can complain about before the power bill forces us all to turn the AC off and go fishing like proper Thunderland citizens. We can laugh as a national network tries to parade something around as country while even the newest of the new to country can go “Wait a minute. Wait just a second.” We’ll nod and smile as the poor newbie works it all out, and then we’ll pass some more beers around and enjoy the summer outdoors. You know, once the eggs are washed off the sidewalk.

Paul Kent hosts Thunder After Dark, 7 p.m. to midnight weekdays and the Saturday Night Special, Saturdays 7 p.m. to midnight on Thunder 104.5 Everything Country and More.